Stephen Harper would kill for an election right now.

He’s chasing around the country passing out election candies like Santa Claus.

For Montreal, $980 million for a second Champlain Bridge over the St. Lawrence. Just a coincidence of course the bridge ends up near St. Lambert where there’s a byelection the Conservatives want to win badly on Sept. 8.

At least there’s a river under the bridge. In Duplessis’ time they’d build the bridge and then dig the river.

Forty-two million dollars for health care improvements in Ottawa.

Make them forget the $200 million he took away from their city train transit plan two years ago.

There’s good reason for Harper to go as soon as he can.

The economy is going down the tubes. There was a $200 million deficit in the first quarter, headed for the first annual deficit since Brian Mulroney was running things.

The scandals are piling up. That’s why Harper adjourned the Commons in June. Remember the Cadman Affair. Somebody was trying to buy the vote of an MP dying of cancer and a journalist was going around taping Harper.

Then there was the Great Election funding scam, still before the courts. No charges laid yet. And then the Mulroney affair, also up before the courts and before a Commons committee as well. Harper dropped Mulroney like a rock, but Brian still has fans. Risks splitting the party.

Canada’s got economic problems, especially in forestry and the automobile industry. Unemployment is up, exports are down, inflation is up, and savings are down.

The war is going badly in Afghanistan. Our soldiers are getting killed. Even our civvies. It was all supposed to be over before Christmas. A hundred dead before the snow flies? Who would have known? A hundred before Nov. 11? It’s possible.

The worst is yet to come. Wait until the home heating bills start coming in this winter. Through the roof. Harper can tell them all he wants he doesn’t set fuel prices.

The reasons for going to the polls now are convincing.

Harper has been steadily sliding in the polls. Last election he had a good nine point lead over the Liberals. Last poll, Canadian Press Harris Decima had Liberals and Conservatives all tied up at 31%.

No way get a majority with stats like these.

Meanwhile Dion’s Green Shift is slowly winning over people, despite Dion’s own pedantic performance.

Tax the polluters, not the poor. A bit simplistic as a slogan but it works. Vote Conservative for the GST at 5 %. Sounded simple but it worked. Forget what economists said. It worked.

Harper keeps threatening Dion with a sudden election, knowing the Liberals don’t have a red penny to spend on elections.

Dion keeps saying he’ll vote the Conservatives out power, but he never does. They are both playing head games.

Harper tells Dion to Fish or cut bait so Dion goes fishing, catches a huge fish, calls him Stephen and eats him. Talk about hooking Harper on his own line and reeling him in.

But Harper the election keener, has a serious problem. There is a law against him calling a snap election. It’s called the Fixed Election Date Law. Harper himself brought in the law. It passed June 3, 2007. Something Harper got from the Americans, and Ontario, B.C. and Newfoundland.

The law is clear, black on white. The next federal elections have to be held Oct. 19, 2009, unless Dion defeats Harper’s Conservatives in the Commons, something Dion is certainly not about to do.

The only other possibility would be for Harper to go t6o Governor-General Michaëlle Jean and try to convince her that Parliament is in chaos and we need general elections.

That won’t get him far, considering Harper’s people created most of the problems in committee. They had a 200-page guidebook on how to obstruct committees, and told Conservatives MPs how to sabotage committees by walking out of the room. But the handy guide fell into the hands of the news media and had to be recalled.

Harper likely wouldn’t get far trying to convince Madame Jean that he needs an election. She might not even answer his telephone call.